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Children and contact – keeping in touch

Posted on Tuesday, 17th September 2013 by
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Strangely many separated parents undervalue the role they have to play in the development of their children. Naturally children aren’t easily able to express their disappointment in parents who are unreliable, fail to attend at all or don’t interact with their children in ways that are useful to the child. Children often end up expressing their hurt in misbehaviour – at least it gets them noticed. Frequently it is the full time carer who bears the brunt of this. Here are a few tips:

  • Try to be regular and consistent with visits, turn up and drop off times. When you part from your child they get huge security from knowing when they will see you again.
  •  Disputes between parents should never be aired on pick up or drop off. Children will quickly learn to dread these times and  make life difficult for all concerned.
  • Do not bad mouth the other household or any member of it, however angry you may feel: it does no good and can be a cause for an immediate cessation of contact which helps no one
  • Prioritise the children visits over all other activities. Your football training, pub lunches shopping trips are best postponed unless the children actively share them and enjoy doing so
  • Try to think about visits / activities in advance of a visit so there is always something to do even if it’s a trip to the park or reading / drawing /interactive things you can share.

The discipline of spending good child centred time with your children is one of the advantages of  only having them for set periods. Get involved with them and they will get involved with you and their sense of value as growing people will help them get through the inevitable upset of separation.

Faye Remnant is part of our Family Law team based in Loughborough; our Solicitors in Loughborough are experts in their fields and dedicated to quality client care. If you would like to find out more about our solicitors in Loughborough please contact us.

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The information provided in all of our blogs reflects only a narrative of some elements to consider on the topic. The blogs do not contain considered legal advice and should not be relied upon as advice. Please see our website terms and conditions for full details of our disclaimer. If you are interested in obtaining advice, please contact one of our lawyers who will be happy and able to advise you on your own particular circumstances.

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